The Last To Know
by turtlesparadise
Summary: One shot, little snippet inspired by a scene in Licoriceallsorts' "Death is Part of the Process" (READ IT READ IT READ IT), in which Rod bemoaned the fact that Turks didn't have fan clubs. Reno has exactly the same complaint in my story here, and also proves that he is the worst gossip of the Turks. Camaraderie/friendship drabble between a few of the BC Turks. Mild profanity.


**Summary: One shot, little snippet inspired by a scene in Licoriceallsorts' "Death is Part of the Process" (READ IT READ IT READ IT), in which Rod bemoaned the fact that Turks didn't have fan clubs. Reno has exactly the same complaint in my story here, and also proves that he is the worst gossip of the Turks. Camaraderie/friendship drabble between a few of the Before Crisis Turks, with Legend annoying Tseng - as usual.**

 **HAPPY NEW YEAR to my readers and followers! Last fic of 2015, I'm hoping to be even more productive in 2016. Thank you all for your support over the years, and this year in particular as it was not an easy one for me personally.**

 **Usual disclaimer: Don't own the characters, wish I did - this is written for fun and not profit, Square Enix owns all.**

* * *

"Man...Silver Elite and Red Leather are at it again," Reno muttered, tossing a tabloid newspaper onto a pile of others gracing an end table in the Turks' lounge. "Rude, you know what I think?"

Rude didn't answer - didn't need to answer, really, he knew Reno would tell him his thoughts whether or not he wanted to hear them.

"Mmm?" Rude murmured noncommittally, not really listening. Tseng entered and nodded to both Turks, making a beeline for a small tin of loose tea he kept in one of the cabinets.

"I think Turks should have fan clubs too," Reno replied. He leaned back on the slim couch, arms folded up behind his head, clicking his tongue against his teeth. "Well...what do you think, partner? I mean, you could totally have a fan club, Rude. Look at you! You're fucking _hot_ , man. And Ruluf," he added, nodding toward Two Guns. "Man, you could be a male model or something."

"I have been a male model," Ruluf pointed out, shaking his head.

"...thanks, Reno." Rude's reply was dry, and he held back a small chuckle as he flicked through the messages on his phone.

"I mean, I'm not like, hitting on either one of you, I swear," Reno added quickly. "Just making an observation. You know, I'd say the majority of us Turks...are just dead sexy. Except Nunchaku."

Tseng raised an eyebrow as he filled the electric kettle from the tap. "That isn't very generous of you, Reno." He smirked. "Though, a serious answer to your question; you do realize that publicizing Turks in that fashion would be a huge security risk? We work in shadow, not light," Tseng added pointedly.

"Meh," Reno waved his hand dismissively. "Sorry, sir...it's just, Nunchaku's just a _kid_ , man. I trained him, I don't want to think about him like _that,_ it'd be awkward."

"But you just told _me_ I was, and I quote, ' fucking hot', and I'm your _partner_ ," Rude pointed out, yawning. "So that's not awkward?"

"Nah, not awkward. Just an honest observation, yo," Reno countered. "What about me? You think I'm sexy, right?" He waggled his eyebrows theatrically. Tseng coughed, and Ruluf just laughed.

"You're... _unique_ ," Tseng replied tactfully, fishing out a spoon from the drawer. He glanced over at the electric kettle, still not quite at full boil.

"Unique? Tch," Reno clucked. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"That means that Tseng doesn't find you attractive," Rude said flatly, and Tseng chuckled quietly.

"You're attractive, Reno," Tseng assured him. " _Aesthetically speaking_. But you're not my type….nor my aesthetic."

"Don't worry. You're not _my_ type either, boss," Reno retorted rudely. He grinned in spite of the verbal jab from Tseng. "I prefer blondes. _Not_ Elena," he added hastily as he caught Tseng's glare. "I mean, I've got a rule against sleeping with co-workers, you know." Reno puffed out his chest proudly, and Rude snorted.

"So you've broken your own rule," Rude interjected, shaking his head. "Way to go."

"Only that one time!" Reno protested, red-faced. "And she wasn't a Turk, either. She was from the science department."

"I really don't want to know," Tseng groaned, sipping his tea. "About anything. I already know too much about your personal lives. Especially yours, Reno."

The door swung open, and Elena and Freyra - better known as Shotgun – entered the lounge, both giving a tired wave to Tseng.

"Hey, we were just talking about you," Reno greeted her cheerfully. Elena gave him a cautious glare.

"Why, what are you guys talking about?" Freyra yawned, poured two mugs of coffee and passed one over to Elena. Ruluf gave a sleepy wave; his eyes were half-lidded, and he stretched himself out on the futon.

"Oh...just about the SOLDIER fan clubs and shit," Reno replied, shrugging, sipping his coffee.

"And Reno thinks we Turks should have our _own_ fan club," Rude cut in, smirking and eye-rolling; clearly he thought the idea was ludicrous.

Freyra laughed aloud, the corners of her eyes turning up and crinkling pleasantly. "You guys are too much. But you know...now that you mention it, there is a certain Turk who has a bit of a fan club, you might say. Or...he has a following, at the very least."

"Hm?" Elena looked at her inquisitively. This was news to her, at least, and she was only slightly miffed at feeling left out from the gossip - though it seemed something that even Reno had not been privy too, which gave Elena some small feeling of satisfaction.

Tseng groaned loudly. He knew exactly where this was going. "You mean Legend, don't you?" Freyra nodded her head, giggling.

"Yeah. Legend. He has a _lot_ of fans in Costa. Tseng knows all about it!"

"Don't remind me," Tseng sipped his tea primly, setting his lips in a thin line. "He was supposed to be punished, you know. He was under house arrest while he was in Costa - " It had not been a secret among the Turks, what had happened to Legend after failing to rescue someone he'd been ordered to protect; at the time, Veld held Legend up as an example to the other Turks, of what would happen should they be derelict in their duties.

 _Some punishment_ _ **that**_ _was_ , Tseng thought, the old bitterness flaring up again. He reminded himself that Legend had been punished in other, unspeakable ways. The loss of his wife and child was one of the reasons Veld had been so lenient with the sentencing.

"How did you know, Tseng?" Freyra asked him, teasing. "Did you go to one of his shows?"

"Shows? What shows?" Reno's sharp mind seized upon the tantalizing crumb of idle gossip, and he sat upright, ears perked. He grabbed his coffee mug and headed over to the counter to get himself another refill. "This sounds interesting." He grinned around a swallow of hours-old coffee. "What, was Legend in a _band_ or something?" Reno could picture that, actually; Legend did have a rather nice singing voice, him singing in a band wasn't all too hard to imagine.

"Zed," Tseng replied, using the Turks' more familiar moniker, "was a dancer during his youth. A career he reprised, ever so briefly, during his incarceration."

"An _exotic_ dancer," Freyra interjected, all too happy to discuss this. "I've seen his show too - "

"So have I," Ruluf piped in, suddenly sitting up. "Well, you know….I did work for Corneo at one time. I've seen some things."

Reno spluttered on his coffee then laughed, wiping his eyes. "Legend was a _stripper_? Oh Gaia...this is too good! Ruluf, did you see his shit? Like, the full monty?"

"Um….no," Ruluf frowned. "I don't think. What do you mean by full monty?"

"He means penis," Elena blurted, and then immediately turned bright pink.

Reno was doubled over, chortling, wiping his eyes. "Gods, this is the best shit I've heard all year. Rude! You're from Costa! Don't tell me _you_ didn't know about this?" He eyed his partner suspiciously.

"I had heard some things, about him, yes." Rude coughed politely, clearly not wanting to talk about it any further.

"Why am I always the last one to find shit out!" Reno complained, as Elena stuck out her bottom lip stubbornly.

"I didn't know either!" Elena protested. "Not that I would have gone to see him, uh...naked and all," she added quickly as Reno gave her a look.

" _I_ would have," Freyra replied, grinning. "And I _did,_ actually. Just once. He...really knows how to work a crowd, I've gotta tell you."

Reno was utterly entranced by Freyra's tale and he leaned forward, rapt with attention. "Shotty..." he whispered, eyes wide. "Don't tell me **you've** seen his junk!"

Elena blushed deep crimson, and the remark only made Freyra laugh even harder.

"Reno. That's _classified_ ," she teased. In truth, she and Legend had been 'friends with benefits' for some time - quietly, and discreetly. She wasn't about to bring that up in front of both the Director, and Shinra's worst gossip.

"But he _does_ have some really good moves." Freyra recovered quickly, deflecting Reno's probing question. Quickly changing the subject, she addressed Tseng, tilting her head to the side and cracking the kinks out of her neck.

"By the way...isn't Legend due back soon?" Freyra asked, pretending to sound disinterested.

Tseng nodded. "He should be here - " The Director groaned as the door flung open, Legend entering as if he'd been summoned by Shotgun's inquiry.

"Honey, I'm hooome!" the Turk quipped, making a beeline for the coffee maker as the others had done. Freyra giggled and waved while Tseng stared hard at them both. He definitely was starting to suspect the two were more than just friends.

"So," Legend flopped down onto on end of the sofa, one long leg hanging lazily over the end. "What's doing? It's New Year's Eve, anyone got plans?"

"Oh," Reno's eyes narrowed and he smirked devilishly. "I thought I'd go see some strippers. _Male_ strippers." Elena gasped, elbowed him, and Freyra snickered.

"Gods, I'm surrounded by _idiots_ ," Freyra muttered, and Tseng grunted in non-verbal agreement, nodding.

"You're just figuring this out now?" Rude shot back, rubbing his forehead. Legend merely smiled serenely at the group, not saying a word.

"As for New Year's eve plans, Rufus has invited all of the Turks to his penthouse, by the way," Tseng cut in, "for the countdown to midnight."

"Oh, you don't say?" Legend raised an eyebrow, smirking. "You gonna kiss him at midnight, Tseng?"

"Piss off, Zed," Tseng snapped. He glared, stood, smoothed out some imaginary wrinkles in his trousers, looking completely ticked off. Without another word, he marched out, glaring at Legend as he exited. Elena frowned at him.

"That wasn't very nice!" she blurted, admonishing Legend, who just shrugged.

"Whatever. Some people are _way_ too fucking sensitive." He drained the rest of his coffee and straightened his tie.

"Tch. So who are _you_ kissing at midnight, dumbass?" Reno wadded up a sheet of paper and chucked it at Legend's head, but he caught it deftly in one hand.

"We'll see…." Legend murmured, eyes locked upon Freyra's. "We'll see…." He excused himself next, and Freyra, who had suddenly gone oddly quiet, followed in his wake moments later.

After Freyra had left, Reno leaned in, a conspiratorial look on his face. "Those two," he murmured, nodding knowingly, "are totally fucking."

" _We know,"_ Ruluf, Elena and Rude replied in unison, and Reno slammed a fist on the table, pouting.

"Fuck you all," he muttered. "Why am I always the last to know!"


End file.
